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This is it. The day that I honestly thought would never come. The moment that has been 18 years in the making—my oldest child is heading off to college.
Simultaneously, it is also a moment that has been 5 years in the making—my youngest son is officially starting Kindergarten.
This is a huge time for me. Huge. There are so many emotions right now, so many thoughts and back to school worries of what’s to come in the days, weeks, and months ahead that it is enough to drive me to the verge of almost losing my head.
First, there’s my oldest child—the one who has been with me the longest. For the past 18 years, there has never been a time when she was not around me. Sure she attended summer camps and week-long school trips, but I always knew that she was coming back home in a matter of days. Now, I have to get used to her not being in the house while helping her younger siblings get used to it, too. During mealtime, I have to adjust to only preparing 5 plates of food instead of 6. And since she will be miles away at college, I see myself constantly worried if she’s okay even when she tells me that she is. I’ll always be wondering if she woke up on time for classes. If her health is good. If she’s making the transition alright. If she needs anything…..or most of all, if she needs me.
Then, there’s my youngest child—the one who has been with me every day for the past 5 years. I am used to him waking up and running right to me in the mornings for our special ‘quiet time’ together—now he’ll be running off and out the door to school. And yes, I’ve already had 3 other children go through the process, but for me, Kindergarten is still a big deal: it represents a new chapter in a child’s life—a chapter that they may or may not transition into smoothly. So, as with the other 3 children before him, I am panicked about if he will adjust, if he will make friends or if the other kids are being mean to him. If he will love school or if it will all be too overwhelming for him.
These 5 years with my son and 3 months of having all four of my kids in the house with me every day has spoiled me. Although I have been ranting all summer that I am looking very forward to the first day of school, I must admit that I am afraid that once the kids are in school, the house will simply be too quiet.
That’s just the emotional part of it. Add to that the ‘business’ side of it: the college dorm assignments, immunizations, student account authorization forms and field trip authorization forms, family visit weekend planning and teacher conference planning. Last-minute details coming at me from all angles–I am trying to keep everything in order. And playing the role of counselor to everyone in the house to help ensure that they’re okay even if I am not.
All of this has gotten to me so much that I only have about 2 marbles left that I have not lost. And quite frankly I am tired of worrying about it all. At this point, all I can do is pray. Pray that everyone has a great first day of school and a successful school year, pray that everyone adjusts to these big changes just fine, and pray that everything will all work out and that all of us will be fine.
And you know what they say about praying: “When you pray, there is no need to worry.” 🙂
Do you have any back to school worries? Are you nervous about what your children may experience? Are you facing some big transitions and adjustments in your household this school year? Share with me below or tell me about it at: [email protected]